By Christian Mickelsen
Guess what?! Sales and marketing don’t cut it if you’re procrastinating, un-focused, or lazy.
But, you’re not lazy! In fact you probably work very hard. Still…
Have you learned a lot about growing your coaching business from plenty of experts, but something’s just not clicking?
Maybe you’re feeling overwhelmed by all there is to do, or maybe you’re feeling that putting in more effort is an exercise in futility?
Or… Maybe there are certain tasks like networking, writing your newsletter, or creating a tele-class, that you know you need to do, but you are just *not following through* on them. Which means that…
‘You know what to do, but you aren’t doing what you know!’
Have you ever wondered what holds you back from TAKING ACTION?
In a few seconds, I’ll share the secret to why we don’t take action when we know we really should. Before I do, I want to explain something VERY important to you.
ALL of your fears are ‘fears of feelings’.
Everything you are afraid of is a feeling of some kind. There are only 2 types of feelings…
We have physical feelings. We have fears of getting hurt physically (like getting bonked on the head).
And we have emotional feelings. So, we have fears of getting hurt emotionally (like feeling rejected).
This is important to note because most everything that holds you back in life and in business are your fears.
Well guess what?!! Over 90% of these fears are emotional fears. So what this means is that most of what is holding you back and keeping you from taking action is a fear of *how you would feel if you took that action*.
Let’s take an example. Say you want to go to a networking event, but you just never go. Maybe you start thinking that you’re just lazy or that you are procrastinating, or you aren’t focused enough.
But, what’s really happening, if you take a closer look, is that the idea of taking action doesn’t ‘feel good’.
If you imagine taking action now, you probably don’t feel good about doing it. You may know you need to go to that event, but there’s something about going that feels bad. Maybe…
It even could be that you don’t want to go to the networking event because you feel uncomfortable talking about what you do. What is that uncomfortable feeling?
It could be a fear of rejection, or a fear of looking bad, or a fear of who knows what. The good news is that it doesn’t matter what the fears are. They are just fears of feelings.
Another piece of good news is that your feelings won’t kill you.
You will survive these feeling of rejection, overwhelm, sadness, etc.
But, I’m not telling you to just jump into these situations and let yourself feel horrible in the moment.
There’s a better way to handle this. Feel it first!
I’m about to teach you a SUPER POWERFUL tool for handling the things that are stopping you. And, it seems to work virtually 100% of the time!
First let me describe the pattern of stuck-ness:
1) Something’s not working or you aren’t taking action.
2) There’s some conditioning or fear underneath this.
3) We judge ourselves for having this conditioning or fear.
4) We try to push this all away and ‘think positive’.
5) We forget that we even have this stuff going on underneath.
6) We remain stuck.
Here’s a classic example: You meet someone at a networking event, exchange cards and say you’ll get in touch with them in a few days.
1) You don’t ever follow up with the person you met.
2) you have a fear that they’ll think you’re being pushy or trying to ‘sell’ them something and they won’t like you.
3) You’re ashamed that you have this fear and that makes you mad at yourself for not following up.
4) You know you need to stay positive so you focus on something else and file all of those business cards.
5) You start to think you’re just lazy, unfocused, or that you’re procrastinating.
6) You rarely ever if ever follow up and this thing called networking doesn’t work for you.
How do we resolve this?
1) Identify the behaviors that you know you should be doing, but aren’t. (make a list)
2) Focus on how it would feel if you really went ahead and took that action. (1 at a time)
3) Be with that feeling and notice where it is in your body and what is there (its either a feeling of judgment or fear).
4) Stay with the feeling (focus on the most intense part) until all of the layers are cleaned up and you feel like you can take action with ease!*
5) Actually take action.
*Note: ‘be with’ the feeling without trying to analyze it or get rid of it. Simply be with it. Also be aware that this process can take seconds, minutes, or hours (and on rare occasions even weeks).
Real example of a resolution:
1) I want to offer a free coaching session to potential clients that I know, but I never do it.
2) When I think about it, there’s a tightness in my chest.
3) I’m afraid that people won’t think I’m credible as a coach since I’m brand new at it.
4) I feel ashamed, then sad, then ‘less than’, and finally peaceful and energized.
5) I call up some people I know to see it they’d like to give coaching a try! (I’m in action!)
I call this ‘Mastering Your Psychology’!
Not only do I take coaches through this process to get them un-stuck and keep them in action, but I also use it myself whenever I’m feeling stuck or afraid of something.
Sales & Marketing are important, but they aren’t enough. Action is the real king. Getting yourself to consistently follow through and be in action is the #1 key.
Please practice this technique and see how well it works to get you back into action and keep you taking action! (Share your story with me!)
Original article title: Why S & M Aren’t Enough (What’s the Real King!)
Mickelsen has been seen in Forbes, Yahoo Finance, MSN, and the Boston Globe. He is a “multi-millionaire in his business and helps other coaches become financially successful.” [Profile from the Irresistible List Building Telesummit.]
Learn more about his products on the page: Christian Mickelsen – Strategic Business Programs for Coaches – which also has a podcast by Mickelsen on “The Secrets & Lies Of The Coaching Industry” —
or go directly to his site: ChristianMickelsen.com